It use to be acceptable years ago for the big boss to yell at his subordinates all day, everyday. Employees from all types of walks of life, vocations, races, and geographical locations would have to put up with the stress of the workplace and then come home and deal with life at home.
History has shown that people will find a way to decompress - but unfortunately many people never learned healthy ways to do it and their marriages, families, etc. suffered because of it.
Think of the overworked mother who comes home and releases all her stress by yelling at her children about homework, their friends, their behavior etc. That behavior creates a different type of stress within the family structure that will be a legacy for those children and their children.
Many people think they don't have time to decompress in "healthy" ways or ways that they would prefer. So they have an after work drink or smoke. Unfortunately, there are serious health consequences for these types of decompression tactics and they can snowball into crutches and/or addictions.
So what do we do?
1. Some people have to do something before they hit the front door. Walk around the block. Drive around the block. Stop by the grocery store or department store for a few last minute items.
2. Some people choose to create a bit more time for themselves before coming home and fit in going to the gym for 30 minutes, or enrolling in a creative type of class like paining, ceramics, knitting, or going by the library/book store for a book signing or reading.
3. Other people absolutely have no time between getting off of work and getting home or picking up their kids from after-care etc., so the plan needs to happen in the car or when they get home. Make sure you have some of your favorite CDs in the car or an audio book. There is no mandate that you have to start homework or dinner immediately after you hit the door. Take some time to unwind with a magazine you've been dying to read. Play a game or dance 30 minutes with your kids.
4. Finally, there are always the old stand-by's. Deep-breathing and other meditative moves before you move onto another task. One drink after work or with dinner. Eating a great meal (but not overdoing it:)
5. Talk about your job with others that will listen. Vent your frustrations and come up with realistic and creative solutions to make your life at the job more manageable.
Whatever you do, choose something. If you go to work day after day screaming at your employees or you are at the receiving end of this behavior -- you have to do something before you deal with the rest of your life. If not you can become a negative force in your house and to yourself.
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Lisa Angelettie, M.S.W., is a psychotherapist, writer, and speaker. She has been helping clients with all types of life issues since 1998. She is the Founder and Director of www.GirlShrink.com, a site that offers expert online advice, counseling and coaching for women on a variety of issues such as relationships, mental health and more. Get information about our free advice & other services by Clicking Here.
