"God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers." -- Jewish proverb
Motherhood is serious business! Let's not even fool around. Every woman should not be a mother. And that's okay. But if you are one...you should strive to be a "good mother". But what is that?
A good mother is someone who raises a child with respect, love, security, & wisdom. When this occurs, you will find a child who eventually doesn't need their mother around to feel safe in the world, to know how to treat others, or to make sensible decisions etc. They will know how to feel all these things on their own.
In its simplest form, a child first may only feel safe when being held by their mother, but then transfers those feelings of safety to a "blankie" or other security item, and then finally doesn't need a security item but now has feelings of safety instilled in him or her by the mother.
A good mother may teach a child how to cook spagetti. He or she watches diligently following all the directions. Later, the child may call his/her mother and ask "How do you make your spagetti again?". Then finally, that same child may later want to try his/her own recipe for spagetti and adopt it as his/her own version. Fully confident in their ability to make spagetti. Confidence instilled by mom.
More than likely, their mother consciously or sub-consciously instilled great feelings of confidence in her child. A child willing to try new things is one whose mother taught him/her that there was a possibility and a probability of them achieving things that they attempted.
Good mothering is not easy! It can be very stressful and challenging, and many women can fall victim to addictions (alcohol, drugs, shopping, gambling, eating) trying to be "mommy".
If you find that you are overwhelmed and are attempting to eliminate stress from your life in unhealthy ways, it's a good idea to seek stress management counseling by a qualified mental health professional in your area or online.
If this sounds like your own mother...talk to her about it--and suggest she try to talk to a professional about her issues.
Stay strong all you good mothers. Happy Mothers Day!
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Lisa Angelettie, M.S.W., is a psychotherapist, writer, and speaker. She has been helping clients with all types of life issues since 1998. She is the Founder and Director of www.GirlShrink.com, a site that offers expert online advice, counseling and coaching for women on a variety of issues such as relationships, mental health and more. Get information about our free advice & other services by Clicking Here.
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