It's funny. No matter what great and momentous things I experience in my life, I remember each and every break-up of my youth like it was yesterday. Breaking up is not easy. Even if you are ending what is a "bad" relationship -- it is still much like a death. A break-up marks the end of a short or long period of time you shared yourself (emotionally and/or physically) with another person. And now for whatever reason, it has come to an end.
What do you do with all the feelings you are experiencing? Are you angry with this person? Have you been hurt. Are you sad. Or are you desperate? Did you make the mistake and you don't want to lose your partner? Is it just a relationship that has run its course? Have you done everything to salvage it or have you both just thrown up your hands in defeat?
One thing that makes a break up difficult is the fact that there is usually one or both of you who never know when it is "really" over. Someone always seems to drag on the failing relationship just a little bit longer without ever trying to rectify what the problem was in the first place. This is a terrible mistake which couples often make. Let's not let that be what you decide.
If you want to salvage your relationship, tell your partner - and then tell him again. Don't play the blame game - even if he starts it. Just communicate that you want to play the solution game. Talking about solutions instead of what "wrongs" occurred to get you to this place is the best way to start mending fences.
If you know that the relationship is truly over and you are just in a lot of pain, remember - that you have probably been through this before. Maybe when you were 16 years old. Maybe a little later in life. But you know that it is not the end of the world--don't you?
Pain can be managed. Worked through. Then put away. You just need to make sure that you reach out for all the support that you can find to help you along the way.
1. Call on friends.
2. Go out.
3. Watch your favorite movies.
4. Take up a hobby.
5. Do something that you've always wanted to do.
6.Step outside your box and do things for yourself that will make you feel good about you.
Women often tend to blame themselves for break-ups, and subconsciously punish themselves by staying in, overeating, drinking alcohol, crying a lot, and becoming withdrawn and introverted.
If you need someone to talk to or to help you manage the end of your relationship - we have confidential experts waiting to help you. You can email us, chat with us, or call us on the telephone. For more information, click here. In the meantime, check out some of our break-up resources listed below.
-Lisa
Break-Up Resources:
The Girls Guide To Breaking Up This book gives really good down to earth advice, has loads of tips, and provides lots of laughs too. Everything you need to get over a break-up.
He's Just Not That Into You This book experience world wide fame. Written by a Sex In The City show writer, this book tells you why so many women have such bad luck at love.
Don't Call That Man! This book gets straight to the point and is one of my favorites out of the bunch. This book is for getting over your break-up plain and simple.
Lo-Carb Chocolate! Hey, if you are going to indulge for a couple of days - it doesn't mean that your backside has to spread does it? Try these chocolates. They're amazing!
